Bombastic Egocentrics
In this age where bombastic egocentrics and hollow elitists are the norm, I have decided to hop onboard. No more quotidian lifestyle devoid of materialistic arousal. No more stark phrases and vapid calmness. Finally, I can be associated with something great, something pure, something timelessly unique. I have become a water connoisseur, and I will raise my nose in disgust at your Dasani or Aquafina. I am into glass bottles with delicate lines, stylish lettering, and foil seals. I am into the rara avis from Norway and Patagonia. Lauquen, VOSS, 10 Thousand BC, and Elsenham are a few of my favourite brands. Never heard of them? Typical of the bourgeois. Very few can be so dignified in their choice of liquid replenishment. Below is a five dollar bottle of splendid Lauquen. Can't afford it? You are not alone.
Here I am thinking about drinking the purest from Norway, VOSS.
This is a fellow lover of VOSS, a close colleague and friend. 
I've found that only the purest water optimally hydrates the body, reduces anxiety, heightens brain functions and stimulates sex drive. Do yourself a favor - drink untapped, unpolluted, unblemished H2O, or don't drink at all.
4 Comments:
One time at this scenster bar in San Diego a girl I was with payed 8 dollars for a bottle of Voss. I was so upset I almost vomitted in my mouth. Good blog though.
p.s. Change the font this ish is hard to read.
7:42 AM
I personally stick with good ole' tap water...I know it's even lower than dasani, but i'm working on a budget here!
9:09 AM
did you think I couldn't find you?
11:15 AM
as a resident of the so-called cultural epicenter of the world, i should clearly share your sensibilities by going out to the local gourmet market and having at it. instead, i find myself with a glass of the hudson on my desk. ok, i'm kidding, the rivers around here are...well, don't drink from 'em. i've got a brita, thank God.
thanks for making me laugh, bag.
9:45 AM
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